Talked to my insurance company. They said they will cover the surgery as long as I go through a solid year of a nutritional/diet program. I also have to see a therapist for a year. Which I already do now. I don’t know if I can wait a year like. I guess I’ll see if weight watchers works this time, third times a charm? Sigh. I’ll be attending my first weight watcher meeting, since I’ve signed up again, next week sometime. I need to start tracking what im eating again too. I tracked a few things but I forget to do it all.
I did the photo shoot Sunday and it made me see really how huge i am. I really am so upset with myself for letting myself go like this. And my ass,omg, its so freaking flat. Ugh lol
I feel like a total asshole. I binged pretty much all day long. I wasn’t even hungry but I stuffed my face like a pig. I’m so disgusted with myself right now. I just feel so depressed and frustrated lately. I guess the only good thing about today is that I signed up for Weight Watchers. I have to be apart of a program for 6 months in order to be able to have the surgery. The last 2 times I was apart of WW it didn’t work for me. Sigh. I guess I’ll head to bed now. I’m so miserable feeling. Pity party for Elaina.
My boyfriend has always liked bigger girls. I’m so scared that if I get skinny he will not want me anymore. I really want him to support me in this but I have a feeling he wont. I weigh 196 currently and I know he thinks I’m fat now but when I was about 150 he was more attracted to me. Or so that’s how I feel. But he’s never seen me skinny. If I get this surgery, will he still want me? Will he have a new found love for thinner girls? Gah. I’m so conflicted.
So, she said I can go through with it n she will back me up. She suggested I start weight watchers again since I have to be on a structured plan for 6 months before surgery. I also have to make sure my insurance covers it and if not then how much it would cost me or my parents. She also suggested a specific hospital which I personally have never been to but it’s right down the street from my boyfriends home. So that’s good. I’m excited to get the ball rolling. But I am also scared to tell my boyfriend even about it all because he doesn’t like stick thin girls. But I don’t wanna be stick thin just an average healthy weight. Ugh
At my primary care doctor….about to ask her what I have to do to be considered for bariatric surgery. Nervous
Anyone ever have bariatric surgery done? My BMI is 35 and at 35with certain health issues I could qualify. I really see this as a good option for me. I eat right, exercise when I can, but the weight just wont budge.